Just when you thought it was all over...

 ...it isn't, quite! I wrote the piece below a week or so ago, as a sort of close to my sabbatical ~ not just the time in Australia and the Holy Land, but towards the end of the full 12 weeks. It's sort of poetic prose, if that's a thing! It's quite raw, and the photos didn't behave very well... but I wanted to share it with those who've shared this journey with me. 

Thank you... again! 

Cacophony of Sound & of Silence

2023, 15 years ordained

a summer sabbatical, long delayed and rearranged by pandemic life.

A ‘focus’ for extended study leave?

12 weeks

12 weeks to breathe, reflect, recharge

space

space for midlife unravelling

space for plans and unplugs

focus?

notification… attention-grabbing…

‘Paula Gooder’… ‘Women of the Bible’… ‘St George’s College, Jerusalem’… ‘June 2023’…

attention-grabbed!  booked!  focus found?

found, not fixed ~

expanded, unfurled, through plans and unpins

12 weeks, organic, meandering focus ~

women, women’s voices,

heard and unheard,

cacophony of sound and of silence.

12 weeks on

who have I heard?

whose silence calls to me?

space still for reflection, recording, remembering, reliving, retelling, re-voicing

who have I heard?

whose silence calls me to speak?

Not all the unheard are women... and yet...

who are the women of my summer sabbatical?

the heard and the unheard?

May 2nd, half century milestone marking my pilgrimage

May 8th, planned space ignites, lifts off, Australia bound

touching down, Melbourne

gift of special, sacred, sister, sojourn,

speaking, listening, being heard

celebrating presence in person, 

heard and held in physical not digital space

sumptuous feast of sisterhood sandwiching solitude,

overture and finalé of Australian space

sister-sandwich filled

with the silence and solitude of travelling alone in Tasmania

voices heard and overheard

listening

voices, stories; re-voicing to other’s ears the silent ones who call me to speak

may their voices be heard, resounding on and on…

voices reverberating in the ears of this lone tourist,

overhearing, snippets of conversations,

fellow travellers, commuters, shopkeepers, baristas

chatter, gossip, making plans, disagreements

voices heard,

discovering voices unheard calling me to speak

painful, drawing tears of female connection, visiting Cascades Female Factory ~

convicts, criminals? condemned

the voices of ‘convict’ women ~ sentenced, literally, to silence

the quest for justice screaming in the silence of these silenced voices

some volume raised through art ~ but who hears it?

stopped in my tracks by ‘Ruffles on the Rajah’, 

Bern Emmerichs’ haunting piece naming, giving dignity, 

colour, personality, individuality, uniqueness,

voicing the stories of 180 women and their children

sentenced and sent to Van Diemen’s Land

departed Woolwich 5 April 1841, on board the Rajah, Tasmania bound.

displayed alongside in Hobart’s Museum and Art Gallery,

representation of one woman, not 180,

one largely unheard woman

listener to so so many unheard voices

silent cries of Indigenous women ~ 

unheard for so so long

21st century sensibilities now seek to hear,

creating space for voices to rise from the grave and finally be heard

Truganini, 19th century Indigenous leader

life of tragedy, grief, violence, resettlement,

holding fast to tradition, speaking for her people

hear her voice and who she speaks for

June 1st, sisters voices speaking words of love and thankfulness; of farewell and tears

travelling on

on to ‘holy’ land

land of so so many voices:

orthodox, zionist, reformed, conservative,

Muslim, Christian, Jew,

Israeli, Palestinian,

clamouring for airtime

competing

voices enacted in violence,

in endeavours for peace, for reconciliation ~ who shouts the loudest?

who isn’t heard?

women?

St George’s College Jerusalem ~ ‘Women of the Bible’ course

12 days listening to voices of so many women, heard and unheard

immense gratitude for such riches

drinking deeply, yearning to hear, profound spiritual sustenance

sitting, listening, immersed, soaking at feet of Rabbi Paula

hearing this beautiful, learned, strong, clear, honest, vulnerable woman’s voice

listen… hear… feast…

hear again and again to resonances, reverberations, refuelling me

thank you for this voice ~

speak on faithful woman of God.

Focus now… “Women of the Bible”

women of this ‘holy’ land

women who are there

often unnoticed, unseen, unheard, unnamed

the wife of…  the mother of…  the daughter of…  the sister of…

hear their stories, listen… let their voices sound ~ those named and unnamed:

Rachel, Hannah, Jepthath’s daughter, Rizpah, Jezebel, Deborah, Hagar, Sarah, Ruth, Rahab, Jael, Bathsheba;

the many Marys ~ each possessing unique voice ~

mother of Jesus, mother of James and Joses, Magdalene, wife of Clopas, sister of Martha, sister of Lazarus;

Anna, Elizabeth, Prisca, Chloe, Nympha, Junia, Paula, Eunice, Lois, Julia, Lydia, Phoebe…

who of them have I heard?

whose stories, voices, call me to speak?

Focus grows, opens, expands ~ women of this 'holy' land today

Palestinian women killed for their voice, 

immortalised

in graffiti on concrete

Leila’s voice

speaking for local women

practical action ~ 

running a cooperative for 150 women

and speaking ~ 

speaking to all who will listen, and will hear

sharing experience of life in Hebron

choosing to do what she can ~ to use her voice

learning English to be heard by wider audience

we heard her words, that she uses her mouth as resistance

Islam whose story we heard

using her voice

raised in Aida Camp, Bethlehem

5th generation refugee

raising awareness,

raising funds for disabled children 

through 'Noor'

using initiative, skills, voice

talking and telling her story and others while teaching Palestinian cooking

passing on her recipes, passing on her voice,

commending, sharing her life's work

Ghada, phenomenal Nazareth business woman

proclaiming her story boldly to any open ears ~ ours

shouting her message, using her multiple talents to tell the world

Visiting Jerusalem Princess Basma Centre

listening to erudite women sharing the vision 

touring the facility

seeing mothers and children learning together 

treating Palestinian children with disabilities,

hosting and training their mothers,

empowering their families

health care, inclusive eduction, holistic support

Reverend Sally Azar

ordained this year

1st Palestinian woman ever to be ordained

candidly voiced her hopes and concerns

called to pioneer this path

to speak up and out

a faith-full, intelligent, passionate woman

A handful of voices of women of this ‘holy’ land,

privileged to listen, to hear the pain and the hope,

what now?

how can I pass on their voices, ensure they are heard and heard and heard and heard?

pass on

Chinese Whispers

what of other women’s voices heard in this ‘holy’ land?

strangers brought together for just these days

priests, daughters, educators, mothers, funeral directors, sisters, lovers, spiritual directors, wives, ministers, grandmothers, friends 

each bringing from far-flung lands

their own unique stories

their own unique voices 

strangers 

solidarity in pilgrimage, 

in experiencing together 

in coming and following 

in listening and being heard

in tears and in laughter

in shared fears and hopes, 

in tears shared and shared again

solidarity in womanhood

the most precious gift of each other as we journeyed together

our voices individual and blended into beautiful harmonies

rich spiritual sorority

and what of God?

of hearing God’s voice?

where is she heard?

the lakeshore of Galilee

Ocean beach Tasmania 

many many times through listening to the voices of others

discerning God’s still, small voice

in the cacophony of silence and of sound

2023, 15 years ordained

a summer sabbatical,

space

12 weeks… 

listening to the voices of women

the heard and the unheard

cacophony of sound and of silence.

who have I heard?

whose silence calls to me?

whose silence calls me to speak?

15 years discovering my voice

seeking a place for my voice

gaining confidence that my voice has something to say ~ is valid,

15 years on, the voice of Julia the priest is offered with some confidence

and me?

stripped of dog-collar protection, exposed,

is my voice offered, valid, heard?

when I speak

dare to use my voice

will I be heard?

in friendships? 

in marriage?

in society? 

May this woman, child of God, 

me,

believe in her voice,

speaking her own story

her own experience, learning, pain, opinions, ideas, fears, dreams, hopes

speaking out for the unheard voices whose silence calls to me,

adding my voice to the cacophony